support

Measurement of Success

In life success can be measured in so many ways.  For some its achieving a goal, another its money related and yet another they way they feel. I have probably measured success in each of these ways.  Overall one’s feelings of success is usually quite personal.

The one way I have tried to not measure my success is by comparing myself to others. I do not know if this is a growing trend that people are comparing themselves to others, but I have noticed it more and more.  Just because my friend  accomplished something, does not make me less of person. Yet, the over competitiveness that seems to run rampant is disturbing. I believe some of it is a bit of jealously, some of it is bad manners.

From the time my children have been little, I would say “don’t be jealous”.  Be happy for a friend that got the medal in gymnastics, proud of the friend that won the spelling B. Every person will have their own successes in life, not every person is a perfect spellers (no matter how hard they try), not everyone can do a back layout.  This is what makes us all individuals, unique. But souring someone elses successes and accomplishments, you are taking joy from them. How could you ever feel proud and happy of your own successes in life if they are muddled by jealousy and someone elses disappointment.  Every one will have their time to have success, and most many successes.  As a true friend we should be happy for them.

Dream Interpretations

I had an interesting dream the other night.  I was riding a bike with my Mom on the back of the bike. We were coming down and hill and when I went to apply the brakes, I realized they weren’t working. We were heading towards and intersection so I put my feet on the ground, dragging them trying to slow down. I told my Mom to hold on, we were going to have to tip the bike to avoid the intersection.  The bike was tipped and my Mom was screaming at me asking me how I could do that to her. Then (still in my dream), my husband rode over and asked if all was ok. I told him what happened and when we looked at the bike, we realized the brake line had been disconnected. Then my mother chimed in stating that she had disconnected them.

No dream crazy dream interpretation needed. This is how my life is. Me dragging my feet trying to slow down what is happening. My mother constantly sabotaging her treatment and care. Her yelling, me bringing her along. Tipping which ever way we need to so we can understand and get things done. The helplessness we both feel. The control we both crave for. When I told my husband Graham of my dream he laughed. Not much of a dream if its what happens in everyday life!

My Love

For better or worse, for richer for poorer- words my husband Graham and I spoke to one another at our wedding almost 22 years ago. We have put those words to test many times over the years. We have honored them, not always with a smile on our faces but we have gotten through many tough times. We continue now and since life isn’t easy, will continue to.

As Graham and I planned our future together over 23 years ago, we spoke about how it was not just he and I marrying. We felt we were combining our families. In theory it sounds easy, but it isn’t always. Holidays are not always smooth, in laws may have other expectations and most of our family has their own in laws to deal with. We have tried to make it work to the best of our abilities.

What wasn’t expected or planned was our parents aging, getting sick and needing us. Over seven years ago when my father was diagnosed with Leukemia, my Graham was such a wonderful support. He rearranged his schedule so that he could be around to take the kids to practices, school, events and more. He took care of all things to do with my parents home. A couple of months before my fathers diagnosis, he had started to be build a coy pond in the backyard. He beautifully finished it so my Dad could spend time sitting by it. My father would fall asleep many days listening to the waterfall. The following summer, Graham worked on refinishing the backyard porch. My father would be able to see and hear the pond from there since he was unable to walk to far. It was such a lovely gesture.

Fast forward to 2013 and Graham continues to be a wonderful support. Since my father passed away in 2007, he assumes all of the responsibilities of my parents home. Now he has been unbelievable with my mother. Perhaps partly due to his training as a guidance counselor and mostly do to  his kindness he has helped her tremendously. It is not without out frustration, seeing my Mom treat me and my children meanly at times. My mom tends to look to Graham very often. I think he brings her comfort. She has just started to not be nice to him all the time, but he handles it gracefully.

As if him dealing directly with my mother is not enough, he has me. He listens to me endlessly as I try and work through what it going on. There are days he probably wants to say shut up, but he doesn’t. He helps me strategize on ways to handle things, gives me a shoulder to cry on, researches the disease and passes on information. Not only am I lucky to have him in my life, but so is my mother and so are my brothers. Things would not run nearly as well without Graham.

So in one of the worse times in life, I have experienced joy. All because of my love Graham. I am truly blessed to have him. Meeting and marrying him was one of the best decisions  I have made in life. For better or worse. Thank you babe!