For better or worse, for richer for poorer- words my husband Graham and I spoke to one another at our wedding almost 22 years ago. We have put those words to test many times over the years. We have honored them, not always with a smile on our faces but we have gotten through many tough times. We continue now and since life isn’t easy, will continue to.
As Graham and I planned our future together over 23 years ago, we spoke about how it was not just he and I marrying. We felt we were combining our families. In theory it sounds easy, but it isn’t always. Holidays are not always smooth, in laws may have other expectations and most of our family has their own in laws to deal with. We have tried to make it work to the best of our abilities.
What wasn’t expected or planned was our parents aging, getting sick and needing us. Over seven years ago when my father was diagnosed with Leukemia, my Graham was such a wonderful support. He rearranged his schedule so that he could be around to take the kids to practices, school, events and more. He took care of all things to do with my parents home. A couple of months before my fathers diagnosis, he had started to be build a coy pond in the backyard. He beautifully finished it so my Dad could spend time sitting by it. My father would fall asleep many days listening to the waterfall. The following summer, Graham worked on refinishing the backyard porch. My father would be able to see and hear the pond from there since he was unable to walk to far. It was such a lovely gesture.
Fast forward to 2013 and Graham continues to be a wonderful support. Since my father passed away in 2007, he assumes all of the responsibilities of my parents home. Now he has been unbelievable with my mother. Perhaps partly due to his training as a guidance counselor and mostly do to his kindness he has helped her tremendously. It is not without out frustration, seeing my Mom treat me and my children meanly at times. My mom tends to look to Graham very often. I think he brings her comfort. She has just started to not be nice to him all the time, but he handles it gracefully.
As if him dealing directly with my mother is not enough, he has me. He listens to me endlessly as I try and work through what it going on. There are days he probably wants to say shut up, but he doesn’t. He helps me strategize on ways to handle things, gives me a shoulder to cry on, researches the disease and passes on information. Not only am I lucky to have him in my life, but so is my mother and so are my brothers. Things would not run nearly as well without Graham.
So in one of the worse times in life, I have experienced joy. All because of my love Graham. I am truly blessed to have him. Meeting and marrying him was one of the best decisions I have made in life. For better or worse. Thank you babe!